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Caring 4 Your Child
Preschoolers Not Too Young to Develop the Skills of Conflict
Resolution
Say HighScope Experts
Ypsilanti, MI — Recently, many elementary, middle, and high schools have
established conflict resolution programs. These programs are often credited with
reducing fights, bullying, and other forms of school violence by helping
children and youth learn to settle disputes and conflicts through discussion and
negotiation.
While these programs are certainly valuable, learning to resolve conflict can
and should start even earlier than elementary school, according to early
childhood education experts from HighScope Educational Research Foundation.
HighScope has developed a conflict resolution approach designed for young
children aged 18 months to six years. The approach is based on six simple
mediation steps that teachers use with children during emotionally charged
conflict situations. The steps are: (1) Approach calmly, stopping any hurtful
actions; (2) Acknowledge children's feelings; (3) Gather information; (4)
Restate the problem; (5) Ask for ideas for solutions and choose one together;
and (6) Be prepared to give follow-up support.
These problem-solving steps have been successfully used by teachers and
caregivers working in preschools, Head Start programs, infant-toddler child care
programs, nursery schools, and kindergartens. According to early childhood
consultant Betsy Evans, who developed the steps for HighScope, the steps are
effective with a wide range of children, including those enrolled in at-risk
programs as well as those from privileged backgrounds.
The steps in conflict resolution with young children are not all that different
from the steps used by adults to resolve disputes in labor relations, diplomacy,
law, and education, Evans says. "We took what we knew about early childhood
learning and integrated that with the practical steps that are widely used by
adult mediators and negotiators," she explains. "The result is like a box of
must-have tools—a set of strategies applicable to a wide range of trying
situations faced by teachers and parents."
Evans believes adults often underestimate the capacity of young children to find
solutions to their problems. "Emerging problem-solving abilities can be observed
in children as young as 18 months," she says. "Young children are capable of
quick, honest expressions of feeling, and with our support they can often come
up with simple, creative solutions to problems."
Using the six mediation steps helps turns problems into opportunities, according
to Evans. The process of resolving disputes helps children build problem-solving
and social skills that they can rely on throughout their lives.
The six steps are used differently depending on the age and developmental levels
of the children. With toddlers, the adult observes what is going on and provides
much of the language describing both the problem and the solution. On the other
hand, preschoolers having a dispute are often able to describe what the problem
is and suggest solutions. By the time children reach elementary school, they are
often able to serve as mediators for their classmates, once all the children
have had experience with the process.
Children's participation and agreement with the process is important, even when
children's language skills are limited. A young child may confirm that the adult
is on the right track by nodding, answering yes/no questions, or pointing. As
children mature, they are able to take over more and more of the process
themselves, and eventually are able to do it independently.
HighScope Press offers several publications developed by Betsy Evans about
conflict resolution with young children. Her most recent book,
You're Not My Friend! Illustrated Answers to Questions About Young
Children's Challenging Behaviors provides a close-up look at 21 common
child scenarios told in pictorial dialogues illustrated by
Jonathan Wilcox. Each scenario starts with a What If...? question (for example,
What if one child bites another child?), followed by two sets of illustrated
responses: one depicting a "typical" (more traditional) adult response; the
other detailing a "problem-solving" approach based on a six-step mediation
process. This six-step process is described in more detail in Evan's previous
book
You Can't Come to My Birthday Party! Conflict Resolution With Young Children, which
offers over 50 actual stories of adults and children resolving disputes. The
stories are taken directly from transcripts of mediations with children. Two
DVDs —
Supporting Children in Resolving Conflicts (preschool level) and
It's Mine! Responding to Problems and Conflicts (infant-toddler level)
— show the process at work in preschools and child care centers. HighScope also
offers professional development workshops that enable teachers to use the skills
of conflict resolution with the preschool and infant-toddler age groups.
Evans says that although violence prevention is often the stated purpose of
conflict resolution programs in schools, the reasons for teaching children these
skills are actually much broader: "While many of our children are not at risk
for violent behaviors, the majority are at risk for not reaching their full
potentials as caring friends, loving spouses, supportive parents, and
cooperative work colleagues," she says. "These programs not only help to prevent
the spread of violent behaviors among children and youth but also encourage the
development of essential social abilities that allow children to grow as
productive, independent members of our society."
The HighScope Educational Research Foundation, an independent nonprofit
research, development, training, and publishing organization located in
Ypsilanti, Michigan, was founded in 1970. The Foundation's principal goals are
to promote the learning and development of children worldwide from infancy
through adolescence and to support and train educators and parents as they help
children learn. In a HighScope program, students learn through active
involvement with people, materials, events, and ideas.
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